How do we continue to heal when we are bombarded with constant reminders?
For your wellbeing this post includes information about domestic abuse and SEND provision
The above question is one I was asked this week and I’ve been reflecting on after a week of news that has hugely impacted people around me.
Before I go any further, please be mindful of your own capacity before reading the rest and here are some things you might like to consider if the news is hitting hard:
Turn off notifications and only look when you feel you have the capacity to do so.
Invest some time in acknowledging and then regulating any emotion that we feel.
Reach out to someone and let them know it’s difficult.
“Prioritising regulation, connection and community support is not avoiding, it’s protecting our capacity to show up when it matters most”. @leticiabehaviourconsulting on Instagram
As a psychotherapist and wellbeing practitioner I am so aware of the emotional impact the reporting tactics have on the wellbeing of individuals and know that the insensitivity of reporting leads to the potential work someone might have done for themselves feeling like it’s unravelling or undone. I hear comments like ‘our listeners want to know’ or ‘those watching are asking’, but sometimes I wonder whether they really want the answers in the way they’re delivered.
One example of this was BBC news on Monday when they were interviewing the schools Minister of State for School Standards. It was the morning of the day the white paper, ‘Every Child Achieving and Thriving’ was released and she was asked whether children who currently had an EHCP would keep them. It was clear from her first response that she wasn’t going to answer this question directly and yet she was asked this question a further 3 times. Now don’t get me wrong, as a parent of a child with an EHCP I absolutely wanted to know whether the White Paper would tell me that they wouldn’t lose it, but, hearing this question and waffly answer that wasn’t answering the question 3 times didn’t bring me any peace as a parent, in fact quite the opposite, it riled me up and I could feel myself getting more and more frustrated. This led to me putting out a social media post on the Thriving Together Feed and an email to those subscribed to the newsletter with some prompts for looking after ourselves when we feel that surge of emotion.
When we have a platform meaning people listen to us, we need to be aware of the impact on how and when we use it. Within the organising idea of Human Givens, we talk about the environment being a barrier to meeting our emotional needs. There is a recognition now that before we are able to engage in rational thought, we first respond emotionally to our brains matching to patterns previously stored in our long term memory. Of course it is important for us to raise awareness and draw attention to systemic changes and barriers AND we need to be mindful of how we deliver it.
So how can we be involved in raising awareness and working to prevent harmful practices while also being aware of the harmful impact on an individual's wellbeing?
We can look at good practice from others.
A beautiful example of this was Lover, Liar, Predator, the recent BBC documentary directed by Marter Garcia. This documentary highlighted and presented the impact of domestic abuse while honouring the women involved.
Another example is Jamie Gilbert who regularly shares his thoughts and ideas on making education more inclusive and accessible to neurodivergent children and young people. He promotes the difficulties they face due to the systems they are part of while also championing all that neurodivergent younger humans have to offer the world.
Whether you’re reading this as someone who has been affected, a friend or colleague watching the impact of the news on those around you, or a manager in an organisation actively responding to the needs of others, let’s be mindful, and offer space for those who may need to process all they are seeing and hearing.
